Catch my Breath

Emptiness inside, yet so much pain. Trying to accept life as it is. Still trying to catch my breath. Memories play like an old movie reel over and over, then suddenly there is nothing. My world fell silent. Day to day it is as if I’m not really conscious. Going through the motions saying to myself, “ this is just a bad dream.” Going to sleep at night in hopes tomorrow will bring the light back. Waking up only to find that the darkness remains. I have been here before, MANY times. Should be used to it by now. Maybe I am, but the comprehension of why always torments. I should trade evil for good. Stay locked behind a self created fortress, never letting anyone in. That is not who I am. I am a broken, compassionate giver. Selfless to the needs of others. Scarred by the unkindness of my life’s events. Desperately fighting for them not to define who I am. It is a viscous cycle. An endless journey of constant struggle and hurt. I must fight against myself and circumstance with the belief that one day I will finally catch my breath and the darkness will be, but a memory…