I used to believe in angels, but not so much anymore. I believe them now to be a complete illusion of the mind. A focus of good verses evil when you are at your lowest points. The events that take place during this time complete coincidence, nothing more. For if angels were real, their presence would be a constant in your life, they would not enter for awhile then disappear as if they never existed. They would not fill your world with security, joy and hopefulness only to take it away and watch you helplessly crash to your lowest point once again. By allowing myself to believe and relying on them I have only created more hurt and turmoil by the presence of their absence. I will not pretend that I can forget their memories. In fact, I turn to the illusion just to get through, longing for them to be real. Longing for their presence to push me forward , instead slipping into the realm of negativity that was once my life before they came. So much sadness. Such an emptiness inside felt with every breath taken. How I beg to wake up from this nightmare and to once again be able to rely on them….