Nothing and Too Much

My heart that was finally at peace is now unsettled. The hurt, anger and pain that I thought I had let go of has reared its ugly head yet again and I am at a complete loss. So much confusion, but also it seems clarity through the storm. Decisions made in anger are never right, but how do I let go of the anger? Time is what I’m told it takes, but as time goes by there is still no feeling of reconciliation only lack of any feeling at all. I am resentful to be faced with this. My wall is not made of brick and mortar that can be disassembled one at a time. Instead, it is made of kryptonite to help keep the demon at bay. Words spoken are only empty promises in my mind. I am unwilling to entertain the effort. Torn down too many times by the one who claims to love. If the love offered is the same as before it is none I ever want to be given again. I have learned to be strong beyond measure. To protect myself and my happiness at all costs. I will not surrender that to anyone ever again in my life. I AM what matters. I must rely on what I have learned about myself to get me through this. All I can do is sit in the shadows of my heart and soul and wait for the answer…

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