Absence is never really absence when memories are left to haunt your every thought and remind you of what is lost. With a loss so significant it is hard to face the world every day without the consumption of sadness. Those moments throughout your journey become your focus just to try to quiet the emptiness. You would give anything just to have a chance to relive even what would seem the most insignificant one. You live in disbelief of what you are going through and are forced to except. So many unanswered questions and no proper goodbye. The feelings inside are unable to be put into words, but only confirm what you already knew – love… A complicated love that goes beyond its definition, which only makes this absence more unbearable. You hold on to the hope that decisions will be different and you never stop sharing your love with the absence. You live constantly anxious for the tables to turn and your life to fall back into place. Your world has become nothing more than an emotional mayhem left with no escape.