Living a Lie

After a night of restless sleep it’s time to start the endless day of lies once again. Wake up, put myself together as best I can and go out into the miserable realm of what’s known as my life. Careful not to let others know too much. Go out into this world giving until it hurts, which it does, only to go unnoticed, unloved and unappreciated. Taken for granted by many, wondering what went so wrong? Why must I live this web of lies? Why must I pretend to be happy when I am not? Why must I save face to protect others feelings when mine matter so little? It is my way to share joy with others, lend a smile to their day, being an unending, unconditional pillar of strength for them to lean on. All the while, I am crumbling under the weight of my own life. Such a vindictive trap I am in. A life set in motion by wrong choices. Watching the right ones leaving me by the wayside. Delving deeper into helplessness. Having been given such a heavy blow, I relent. I have no fight left. I must except that it is what it is even though I am who I am. The reflection in the mirror shows defeat in the worst way and I go into the shadow of loneliness living a lie…