Carnival

The scars from life’s journey live inside my head. I sort them out over and over. I am a carnival of emotion and a thousand pieces. I pick up the pieces trying to make them fit again, only to see that this madness overwhelms me. They fall from my hands like confetti and I sit in the illusion that I have a chance at normal. The realization that I am who I am resides. Acceptance is not meant for me. Conformity’s weight is more than I can bare. I am exhausted from trying to be who I am not and never will. I can’t keep running from her. We must coexist in order for me to exist at all. The judgment will come and go, but we will always remain. I have to live for us and embrace who I’ve become. Without this allowance, I will be living in the shadows of my carnival and nothing will be as it seems.